Some time ago John Gottman, Ph.d. developed the a world renowned model for work with couples in Seattle, Washington. It is based on extensive research conducted by the Gottmans over several decades, involving thousands of couples. His research and outcome studies were used as the gold standard for couples treatment and evidence-based practice.

The Gottman Method focuses on enhancing relationship satisfaction and helping couples build stronger connections by understanding and addressing the fundamental components of a healthy relationship. It is grounded in the idea that successful relationships are built on friendship, emotional intimacy, and effective conflict management.

Key Marriage Therapy Components

1. The Sound Relationship House: The Sound Relationship House is a conceptual framework that describes the key elements of a thriving relationship. It includes the following: 1) building love maps (knowing each other's inner worlds), 2) nurturing fondness and admiration, 3) turning towards each other instead of away, 4) creating a positive perspective, 5) managing conflict effectively, 6) making each other's dreams come true, and 7) establishing shared meaning.
2. Assessment and Intervention: The Gottman Method utilizes thorough assessments to understand the unique dynamics and challenges within a couple's relationship. Assessments often involve questionnaires, interviews, and observations. Based on the assessment results, specific interventions are tailored to address the couple's needs and goals.
3. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: The Gottman Method identifies four communication patterns that can be detrimental to relationships and are referred to as the "Four Horsemen." These patterns are criticism (attacking a person's character), defensiveness (making excuses or denying responsibility), contempt (expressing disrespect and superiority), and stonewalling (withdrawing from interactions). The method focuses on helping couples identify and replace these negative patterns with healthier communication styles.
4. Conflict Management: The Gottman Method emphasizes the importance of effective conflict resolution. It teaches couples skills for managing conflicts constructively, including active listening, expressing needs and desires, and finding compromises. The method encourages couples to approach conflicts with empathy and understanding, fostering a collaborative problem-solving approach.
5. Building Emotional Intimacy: Emotional intimacy and attunement are crucial for a strong relationship. The Gottman Method helps couples enhance their emotional connection through exercises and techniques aimed at promoting vulnerability, understanding each other's emotional experiences, and cultivating empathy and responsiveness.

Therapy Training in John Gottman Method

We are trained in this method which has been widely recognized and has been extensively researched, showing positive outcomes in terms of relationship satisfaction and stability. Couples who engage in this approach learn skills to better navigate challenges, strengthen their bond, and create a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.

Getting Marriage Help

We can help your relationship or marriage heal. Lean into the process, trusting us with your marriage is an honor and we take that responsibility very seriously and look forward to working with you. I've included a small John Gottman Institute video below to give you a sense of the model and a small helpful resource. Call the office at 435.216.8839 to schedule marriage counseling.